I don't know how much I posted about the Mental Health Court releasing me from their court unsatisfactorily. After 20 months in the court which was supposed to be a year, they said they had "maxed benefited" me. Well that is considered a revocation of my sentence for the felonies and I go before a judge today to be re-sentenced, or whatever.
I say "whatever" because I strongly believe that it is no fault of my own that I didn't graduate their program, I did everything they told me to, minus the hospitalizations, and peeing diluted urine samples. Yes if you have been following I had a doctors note for the meds affecting my urine testing...yes I have been sober from alcohol for 38 months to date. I don't really understand why they didn't want to graduate me, or what their reasoning was for completely disregarding my efforts in sobriety. I think it all deserves to be nailed up on a plaque in their office, but hey I have an ego about my sobriety anyhow. Yes, I needed 90 days back in April of continuous recognized sobriety to phase up and graduate their program...the most I usually made it up to was around 30 before I would get a dilute and have the days taken away. Call me a "poor performance pisser..." but I did in fact around that time get to 89 days consecutive without a dilute. A dilute only means it is an unreadable test, not that it is in fact positive. But somehow on that 89th day, I got another one. Weird as shit. Also on that day I asked for an ETG which is to prove one's sobriety through blood...I asked for it and was denied by the probationer. Now don't you think if they wanted to phase me up and get me graduated they would have found a way to acknowledge my sobriety at any point? So weird.
Its all been weird, I know God's hands are all up in this, because it feels like a freaky dream. Like are you people for real? What have I really done wrong? Have I recommitted my original crime which was contacting Adam? No. Did I ever actually intend to commit the crime? No. Did I actually "stalk" the man? Well let's ask just about any other humans if they would contact people after a break up, if they had fallen in love with the person? I never ran "surveillence" on the dude. Here read this definition I recently got in the mail.
"stalk means- (a) to follow, pursue, or repeatedly commit acts with the intent to kill, injure, harrass or intimidate a person; and to place under surveillance with the intent to kill, injure, harrass or intimidate the person."
(b) in the course of or as result of, such following, pursuit, surveillance or repeatedly committed acts, to place a person in reasonable fear of death of, or seriously bodily injury, or to cause substantial emotional harm to.
Okay, so this is the federal definition of stalking...I didn't do any of that! I think the key word before all the nasty words is "intent," and yes I emotionally harmed him, but it was by sending him obsessive love texts...he didn't know why? How could you not love Adam, lol! The fact of the matter over that four month period I was writing to him, (not sending it to him) and my whole purpose in writing to him was to work on myself, and leave him alone! I guess cookoo bird failed miserably, and within four months post breakup, I was slapped with a restraining order! I've told my side of the story partially in this blog, but its all going to be there in the book. Yeah I am sorry that Adam was so wigged out by me he couldn't just once talk to me about what was going on! Yeah like "babe" I have had a psychosis about not being able to get to heaven without a soul mate, since I was 18, and you are it! Oh boy, howdy me lover...LOL.
P.S. Heaven is amazing!!!
Anyway court today...I am not even sure if I really even know what it is about exactly. Damn this crossing over important Flatt day!!! Whatever. "Its whatever" by now. I have some ears on the fact that I could be sent to the state hospital, or that my felonies could be suspended and not deferred because of this. Um, I am on some kind of obvious track here, and I am just the "token blonde,"
along for a stroll through the legal sector.
Whatever.
I say "whatever" because I strongly believe that it is no fault of my own that I didn't graduate their program, I did everything they told me to, minus the hospitalizations, and peeing diluted urine samples. Yes if you have been following I had a doctors note for the meds affecting my urine testing...yes I have been sober from alcohol for 38 months to date. I don't really understand why they didn't want to graduate me, or what their reasoning was for completely disregarding my efforts in sobriety. I think it all deserves to be nailed up on a plaque in their office, but hey I have an ego about my sobriety anyhow. Yes, I needed 90 days back in April of continuous recognized sobriety to phase up and graduate their program...the most I usually made it up to was around 30 before I would get a dilute and have the days taken away. Call me a "poor performance pisser..." but I did in fact around that time get to 89 days consecutive without a dilute. A dilute only means it is an unreadable test, not that it is in fact positive. But somehow on that 89th day, I got another one. Weird as shit. Also on that day I asked for an ETG which is to prove one's sobriety through blood...I asked for it and was denied by the probationer. Now don't you think if they wanted to phase me up and get me graduated they would have found a way to acknowledge my sobriety at any point? So weird.
Its all been weird, I know God's hands are all up in this, because it feels like a freaky dream. Like are you people for real? What have I really done wrong? Have I recommitted my original crime which was contacting Adam? No. Did I ever actually intend to commit the crime? No. Did I actually "stalk" the man? Well let's ask just about any other humans if they would contact people after a break up, if they had fallen in love with the person? I never ran "surveillence" on the dude. Here read this definition I recently got in the mail.
"stalk means- (a) to follow, pursue, or repeatedly commit acts with the intent to kill, injure, harrass or intimidate a person; and to place under surveillance with the intent to kill, injure, harrass or intimidate the person."
(b) in the course of or as result of, such following, pursuit, surveillance or repeatedly committed acts, to place a person in reasonable fear of death of, or seriously bodily injury, or to cause substantial emotional harm to.
Okay, so this is the federal definition of stalking...I didn't do any of that! I think the key word before all the nasty words is "intent," and yes I emotionally harmed him, but it was by sending him obsessive love texts...he didn't know why? How could you not love Adam, lol! The fact of the matter over that four month period I was writing to him, (not sending it to him) and my whole purpose in writing to him was to work on myself, and leave him alone! I guess cookoo bird failed miserably, and within four months post breakup, I was slapped with a restraining order! I've told my side of the story partially in this blog, but its all going to be there in the book. Yeah I am sorry that Adam was so wigged out by me he couldn't just once talk to me about what was going on! Yeah like "babe" I have had a psychosis about not being able to get to heaven without a soul mate, since I was 18, and you are it! Oh boy, howdy me lover...LOL.
P.S. Heaven is amazing!!!
Anyway court today...I am not even sure if I really even know what it is about exactly. Damn this crossing over important Flatt day!!! Whatever. "Its whatever" by now. I have some ears on the fact that I could be sent to the state hospital, or that my felonies could be suspended and not deferred because of this. Um, I am on some kind of obvious track here, and I am just the "token blonde,"
along for a stroll through the legal sector.
Whatever.