Written in August 2015
He depleted me of energy, all the time. But I was to let him…my eldest. Brayden was like me, as a child or so I am
told. I awoke from a dreamstate to find
his hand clasped tightly to my right anticubus, which is where my blood is
drawn for tests. The veins of my right
side flow with health. I have always
known that my left side was weaker, and not simply physically, but spiritually
too. The left side is the most injured
and of course has the palsy in my face, and right at the time a pinched nerve in
my neck.
So my son, whom always wants to sleep on the couch felt
afraid last night, and slept in my bed.
My dreams were of him.
Metaphorically he is a young schizophrenic, but I know he is to be a
leader. I have placed a hedge of
protection around him, while in my summer heaven trip 2013. This is what I believe. He is a warrior and someone who will lead an
army someday. That is why I am suppose
to let him rob me of my energy. And not
so much rob, but absorb. And he does in
my daylight too. He is very difficult…in
fact my mother says she has never seen such a difficult child.
So I came out of sleep knowing his right hand was on my
inside elbow, and knee perched against my right rib. Right when I woke up
knowing he was draining my energy, without me moving he rolled to his side. This was in sequence with much of that goes
on with me. These dreams of transference
and energy have happen to me with anyone who sleeps in my bed, but I have only
started sensing it in the last three years, as if I have been awakened to
connect my dreams and visions with physicality and know within reason that
something spiritual is happening.
I don’t believe I am psychotic sleeping. I don’t believe there isn’t a reason I sense
these things. Double O Negative. I do not know how to interpret it, other than
most of my dreams are about everyone wanting my blood. They will do any trick to get at my blood and
sometimes they get it. I don’t know why
God tells me our blood is important…a bloodline perhaps. I do know however I am much more badass in my
dreams and visions, than my destroyed earthly body.
There is a reason I am alive in this confusion. For three years my sons have seen me go
through it…through realms. Samuel was in
my womb when I went there too. So if I
can sift through this somehow…God help if I am not suppose to.