So yes I talk about all kinds of my"girl problems" on PiraTess and Her Booty, some days I am full blown psychotic but today I woke up with an affection problem I think any shemale may run into??? Let me put it on you.
So as per mentioned many months ago I told the world that I had problems giving or receiving affection in healthy ways from or to men. all my life. Then Adam turned my world upside down in 6 weeks. I don't know why I was open to it with him, other than he is my soul mate, lol...but now I have a full blown issue, completely opposite the first 35 years of my life.
Dragon surely shows lots of affection. Appropriate mostly, I think. Smacks my booty pretty much every time I walk by him. Hugs me good. Will play with my hair...wrestle around, and surely a tender touch, just right. Right? These are all things I have never really done with a man. Its all new to me and I don't think he can quite grasp, that I am my age and like yeah this is all "new touch" to me. It's really kind of amazing if you think about it!
Then why is it when I cuddle up to him while he is sleeping, and I find that crook in his shoulder that makes me feel absolutely so comfortable...he full blown pushes me off him? I am all "oh this feels so perfect." No not for two hours, but in about two minutes he shoves me away. I have also learned that I would love to fall asleep while cuddling and it lasts one minute, so I gave up on that. I just know that the beginning of sleep does not begin with affection. So you see I am figuring it out, I guess.
Its not a huge issue right? After 35 years of not needing affection, I could suffocate Dragon very quickly if I don't gauge this need appropriately. I mean I have already been extremely mentally and emotionally needy especially this week! I have been in and out of psychosis, and I can only tell from peoples responses what world they are in, in that moment.
I mean for gosh sake on one side yesterday my own mother told me my life was a repeating nightmare that started at 18, I was lucid. She said the night mare started because I had lied about getting a DUI and that all my life was a nightmare about booze, drugs and boys. I totally heard her in one dimension and the emotions of the psychosis overwhelmed me because yes it is a repeating of the same scenario and story since 18. But now because of Adam and "packing my bags for heaven" I have seen the good ending and that is all I need to know...there is a good ending.
And nothing can separate me from God's love and the ending where everyone comes back to me. Everyone that has ever left my side tells me it was for my growth and good. And where God tells me ?????
Haha thats in my book. It should be going live as an E-book today. I am going to publish this post then go check booktango.com
I am charging $9.17 my sobriety date!
Here is my deal out on my first book. Simply because I have so many other book ideas I feel I like being helpful to those who helped me!
Mr. Good .924 $
Adam Raposa $2.11
And if I am allowed there is an unresolved murder case in my town and I would like to donate $.917
to another Miranda F. but I am still waiting to here back on this.
So as per mentioned many months ago I told the world that I had problems giving or receiving affection in healthy ways from or to men. all my life. Then Adam turned my world upside down in 6 weeks. I don't know why I was open to it with him, other than he is my soul mate, lol...but now I have a full blown issue, completely opposite the first 35 years of my life.
Dragon surely shows lots of affection. Appropriate mostly, I think. Smacks my booty pretty much every time I walk by him. Hugs me good. Will play with my hair...wrestle around, and surely a tender touch, just right. Right? These are all things I have never really done with a man. Its all new to me and I don't think he can quite grasp, that I am my age and like yeah this is all "new touch" to me. It's really kind of amazing if you think about it!
Then why is it when I cuddle up to him while he is sleeping, and I find that crook in his shoulder that makes me feel absolutely so comfortable...he full blown pushes me off him? I am all "oh this feels so perfect." No not for two hours, but in about two minutes he shoves me away. I have also learned that I would love to fall asleep while cuddling and it lasts one minute, so I gave up on that. I just know that the beginning of sleep does not begin with affection. So you see I am figuring it out, I guess.
Its not a huge issue right? After 35 years of not needing affection, I could suffocate Dragon very quickly if I don't gauge this need appropriately. I mean I have already been extremely mentally and emotionally needy especially this week! I have been in and out of psychosis, and I can only tell from peoples responses what world they are in, in that moment.
I mean for gosh sake on one side yesterday my own mother told me my life was a repeating nightmare that started at 18, I was lucid. She said the night mare started because I had lied about getting a DUI and that all my life was a nightmare about booze, drugs and boys. I totally heard her in one dimension and the emotions of the psychosis overwhelmed me because yes it is a repeating of the same scenario and story since 18. But now because of Adam and "packing my bags for heaven" I have seen the good ending and that is all I need to know...there is a good ending.
And nothing can separate me from God's love and the ending where everyone comes back to me. Everyone that has ever left my side tells me it was for my growth and good. And where God tells me ?????
Haha thats in my book. It should be going live as an E-book today. I am going to publish this post then go check booktango.com
I am charging $9.17 my sobriety date!
Here is my deal out on my first book. Simply because I have so many other book ideas I feel I like being helpful to those who helped me!
Mr. Good .924 $
Adam Raposa $2.11
And if I am allowed there is an unresolved murder case in my town and I would like to donate $.917
to another Miranda F. but I am still waiting to here back on this.