Ya when you traverse demon realms and have that be your reality for a few weeks at a time "mentally" speaking you end up being less afraid of things in reality than you should be. I used to be afraid of:
Snakes
Getting my teeth smashed out
Glass shattering in my face
Being raped sober
Car wreck
Public humiliation
Public speaking
Rejection
Touch
And ninjas
Okay that's a joke the last one, but I was just thinking that once you are not afraid to die the less scared you are of everything. My best nightmare was worse than fifty horror flicks combined and I slept with them for 17 years. I believe my day life was weakened and now I have gone through some type of unification process... I mean those nightmares were awful and I was never rested and now gone???
And that list? Well I could give a funk about any of it. Touch is good...healthy! If someone murdered me? I am ok! Just on the other side! Good luck raping me sober, cause I've about had it and your eyeballs would be gone, just saying. Humiliation? Well nothing gets past this girl! I can hear the whole world laughing at me sometimes and I got over it! I can hear All of eternity telling me I am not good enough and stupid, and well I done told them to piss on it! And when it's heaven I like that better because I am a top princess...that's much better than damned to hell alone right?
Anyway I drive safe, but should the Lord want me to go off a bridge into the lake...ocean...icy place in the Netherlands somewhere, while at a book signing 39 years from now...then it's my time! Ya know I ain't afraid of anything but giving a speech!
My nerves choke the air out of me and I gulp and gasp and nearly faint as my brainwaves exit the stage...just saying. That's it. That's the only thing left that scares me. Gods honest truth put a rattle snake in front of me and I will kiss it. Not afraid of nothing but my own damn nerves...funk that's stupid but they feel like they will kill me the way my body tingles in reaction to all attention on me.
So don't line me out Any speaking engagements ok? This is strictly a writing business.
Snakes
Getting my teeth smashed out
Glass shattering in my face
Being raped sober
Car wreck
Public humiliation
Public speaking
Rejection
Touch
And ninjas
Okay that's a joke the last one, but I was just thinking that once you are not afraid to die the less scared you are of everything. My best nightmare was worse than fifty horror flicks combined and I slept with them for 17 years. I believe my day life was weakened and now I have gone through some type of unification process... I mean those nightmares were awful and I was never rested and now gone???
And that list? Well I could give a funk about any of it. Touch is good...healthy! If someone murdered me? I am ok! Just on the other side! Good luck raping me sober, cause I've about had it and your eyeballs would be gone, just saying. Humiliation? Well nothing gets past this girl! I can hear the whole world laughing at me sometimes and I got over it! I can hear All of eternity telling me I am not good enough and stupid, and well I done told them to piss on it! And when it's heaven I like that better because I am a top princess...that's much better than damned to hell alone right?
Anyway I drive safe, but should the Lord want me to go off a bridge into the lake...ocean...icy place in the Netherlands somewhere, while at a book signing 39 years from now...then it's my time! Ya know I ain't afraid of anything but giving a speech!
My nerves choke the air out of me and I gulp and gasp and nearly faint as my brainwaves exit the stage...just saying. That's it. That's the only thing left that scares me. Gods honest truth put a rattle snake in front of me and I will kiss it. Not afraid of nothing but my own damn nerves...funk that's stupid but they feel like they will kill me the way my body tingles in reaction to all attention on me.
So don't line me out Any speaking engagements ok? This is strictly a writing business.