Well she was just 17, don't you know what I mean?
Thrown into a shattered identity...fragments fake, her real beauty torn.
Years go by and her comfort zone gets big like the pacific.
And she is lost in it.
Specifically kept a pacified baby, asleep in the class of life.
Hidden within though is a bigger story, and she goes there at times.
No wonder why and she still strives to excel to the Flatt World.
Degrees and jobs and never need no one...except for all her validation.
Circles around circles she danced. Had to.
Had to never be poor. Had to be the best at everything she did.
And she was a shell so co fused...no self esteem, no long suffering.
Instant gratification and fake fake fake.
So fake she never felt.
Not in tune with even her own tone.
She is weird, I will give her that much!
Simply an alcoholic? No she got more in her bag.
So today she wore fake hair, and loved it.
It made her so insecure...and she realized it was because she knew it was fake,
But no stranger could tell.
Having not sensed this magnitude of insecurity for a very very long time.
She had to credit her working program.
Wow!!!
For she is now very real and genuine.
And she can read when others are not.
And she knows when she is not.
And wonders back about three years...
To question if he could have faked all he helped her feel?
No!
She senses maybe real man's touch...as her first genuine.
And the events that transpired from being hugged just right...
Maybe just maybe completely altered her vein of resistance.
And if that resistance was still there...
She would not be she.
So that was real to me.
And "all lies" I was fake.
And now this is who I am.
Whether opposite to he, was felt.
A repulsion, and yet a draw of some sort.
Sets in confusion for he was first I trust.
But only on paper.
At least that's a step!
And I am so flippin real that I have to say.
Sometimes too tired to be creative!!! Goodnight!