Lasted three days!!! WHOOO!!!
I am getting much better at this.
Dang I am proud of myself...the battle is in the mind.
I am now able to go fully in and fully back out, just by testing my environment.
Same deal, I was sure I was pregnant with what would be an important baby.
This time I felt kicking for three days.
Ok so I stopped taking metformin and my bowels were acting like a baby.
I shall call this child a gas baby...Conoco or ExXon, I havn't decided.
But the fact that it was exactly like every other psychosis, made it feel like a dream sequence I knew all to well.
And I was going to heaven again.
I went to the hospital all by myself...didn't need mommy to hold my hand.
And I walked out.
And I thought the whole medical system was dialed into perfect...because right!
There we are all healthy and streamlined, and there is really no need for medicine.
We are all well.
Hospitals are more like museums with names of Doctors on the wall, all connected in some way to treaties that unite the world to peace and health.
During this I was also having negativity from the other side and I think its time to give that particular evil side a name. Because we have the World of Flatt, a plain...and I have called the higher spiritual realm that mingles with Earth, "ConCord." So the lower deck? Hell as a name is already taken...so for lack of a better name at the moment, I am going to name the lower realm "Hoover." And here is why...I hear "Hoover" when I vacuum. My step-uncle that babysat me in first grade was abusive to me both emotionally and sexually. My mother had asked me to vaccum the living room and he decided I needed to vacuum the whole house. He yelled and screamed at me "NOT GOOD ENOUGH."
thats right, that's a huge theme with my step family...which was brought into my life at age six. So "Hoover" is the place I hear sometimes...undoubtedly have to be distracted EVERY time a vacuum comes on....especially if I am alone in the house. Of course I can also hear Hoover in my own neighborhood.
I have a bustling neighborhood and people love Dairy Queen and of course the "HooveRites" have to let me know how awful I am. So remember when you get your blizzard the next time and are arguing in the parking lot, I hear all your words, and they are evil directed towards me....just saying its a difficult, busy neighborhood for a skit so friend it.
I wasn't always this way. And thank God its getting easier to ping my environments! I will recognize what realm I am in from mutual concordance in conversation. And then after someone doesn't understand what I am talking about, I will know to switch back to Flatt. And I do recognize that I am doing important things in ConCord. You know like yesterday I was cleaning my moms house and I found a measuring tape, a fabric one and I was just sure the sequence was to make it like a belt around my waist. Somehow I think when I pray that I doing something powerful in all realms.
I don't just believe this, I know it.
I don't know why God would have such an amazing story in me and have it all be hogwash and have me practice actions, and repetition of the same nightmares, and the exact same psychosis since I was 18 to have it mean absolutley nothing but insanity? and keep coming back for more. Everything happens for a reason. And this happens so randomly and 90 percent of the time I am a happy healthy human!
I do not insane for my sake, I believe my purpose is fully rooted in the Holy Spirit.
For what did I ask when I got sober?
Love
Joy
Peace
Long-suffering
Kindness
Goodness
Gentleness
Self Control
So I wanted these fruits of the spirit plastered on my right rib dangling from a crooked tree and I was going to add fruits as a felt I received them of the spirit. Well if dang now like three years later I have zero fruit tattoos , BUT I HAVE ALL!!! And if we wanted to add BRAVE to a tattoo what would that look like, lol.
So anyway that was the 10th psychosis of my life! I still don't want too go deeply into in my blog, remember this is just to pique interest. These whamees used to last a at least a week, sometimes months, and here I am understanding everything and feeling pretty darned blessed, three days!!!
Night ya'all!
I am getting much better at this.
Dang I am proud of myself...the battle is in the mind.
I am now able to go fully in and fully back out, just by testing my environment.
Same deal, I was sure I was pregnant with what would be an important baby.
This time I felt kicking for three days.
Ok so I stopped taking metformin and my bowels were acting like a baby.
I shall call this child a gas baby...Conoco or ExXon, I havn't decided.
But the fact that it was exactly like every other psychosis, made it feel like a dream sequence I knew all to well.
And I was going to heaven again.
I went to the hospital all by myself...didn't need mommy to hold my hand.
And I walked out.
And I thought the whole medical system was dialed into perfect...because right!
There we are all healthy and streamlined, and there is really no need for medicine.
We are all well.
Hospitals are more like museums with names of Doctors on the wall, all connected in some way to treaties that unite the world to peace and health.
During this I was also having negativity from the other side and I think its time to give that particular evil side a name. Because we have the World of Flatt, a plain...and I have called the higher spiritual realm that mingles with Earth, "ConCord." So the lower deck? Hell as a name is already taken...so for lack of a better name at the moment, I am going to name the lower realm "Hoover." And here is why...I hear "Hoover" when I vacuum. My step-uncle that babysat me in first grade was abusive to me both emotionally and sexually. My mother had asked me to vaccum the living room and he decided I needed to vacuum the whole house. He yelled and screamed at me "NOT GOOD ENOUGH."
thats right, that's a huge theme with my step family...which was brought into my life at age six. So "Hoover" is the place I hear sometimes...undoubtedly have to be distracted EVERY time a vacuum comes on....especially if I am alone in the house. Of course I can also hear Hoover in my own neighborhood.
I have a bustling neighborhood and people love Dairy Queen and of course the "HooveRites" have to let me know how awful I am. So remember when you get your blizzard the next time and are arguing in the parking lot, I hear all your words, and they are evil directed towards me....just saying its a difficult, busy neighborhood for a skit so friend it.
I wasn't always this way. And thank God its getting easier to ping my environments! I will recognize what realm I am in from mutual concordance in conversation. And then after someone doesn't understand what I am talking about, I will know to switch back to Flatt. And I do recognize that I am doing important things in ConCord. You know like yesterday I was cleaning my moms house and I found a measuring tape, a fabric one and I was just sure the sequence was to make it like a belt around my waist. Somehow I think when I pray that I doing something powerful in all realms.
I don't just believe this, I know it.
I don't know why God would have such an amazing story in me and have it all be hogwash and have me practice actions, and repetition of the same nightmares, and the exact same psychosis since I was 18 to have it mean absolutley nothing but insanity? and keep coming back for more. Everything happens for a reason. And this happens so randomly and 90 percent of the time I am a happy healthy human!
I do not insane for my sake, I believe my purpose is fully rooted in the Holy Spirit.
For what did I ask when I got sober?
Love
Joy
Peace
Long-suffering
Kindness
Goodness
Gentleness
Self Control
So I wanted these fruits of the spirit plastered on my right rib dangling from a crooked tree and I was going to add fruits as a felt I received them of the spirit. Well if dang now like three years later I have zero fruit tattoos , BUT I HAVE ALL!!! And if we wanted to add BRAVE to a tattoo what would that look like, lol.
So anyway that was the 10th psychosis of my life! I still don't want too go deeply into in my blog, remember this is just to pique interest. These whamees used to last a at least a week, sometimes months, and here I am understanding everything and feeling pretty darned blessed, three days!!!
Night ya'all!