Time will tell.
What will I tell, when I am old and grey?
Wait, I am already grey...
Such a story!
Captivates me in the least.
This was our time, all my fantasy...
a hidden treasure in a predictable life.
Makes me feel like a princess,
trapped in a castle,
while the prince possessed lays a slumber.
Makes me feel so absolutly alive, as
though I had never lived before.
Makes me scream inside,
in a visceral way, truth know my heart beats.
Terrifying changes stare me down.
As in letting go,
Ending this story, which is all
I have known...all I want.
Its all been mine and it has been,
a miracle beyond miracles to think
of nightmares gone...
and growth and hope,
and slaying my demons, though
they rest on you.
I have no understanding, this power.
This transferance of fear,
Only that it just is, that away it all
went, with love for one.
Sworn against true love in chains,
Ive seen it all in my dreams.
Had we met before this lifetime, I know
the plan would be no different.
Fear not destiny,
Fear not dreams,
for there we dance and laugh.
We are whole, and know not hate.
Wrapped up security blankets,
just babies.
Just new to that world.
Imagination, or real?
Fear of me, is from me.
My escape now, is to show me plain.
Not bold, nor colorful.
Quiet retreat to normalcy?
Time shall tell.
Hmmmmm...the sound of sand in the glass.
Not invested in love turned black,
for it destroys beauty,
with a kiss.
Hiss...hmmmmm...the sound of sand in the glass.
And it is an evil seed of hate in this world.
To divide strange hearts.
Pit them against, obliviously obvious,
tangled snake Hiss is...the sound of sand in the glass.
We took that bite...red blood beats...
Hmmmm...
The Apple doeth poison, Adam and Eve alike.
Hmmmmmm...
How much sand in the glass?
Eve is grey....hmmmmm...
Her shape hourglass, shivers assunder,
in time falling down, lagging behind.
Hurry there is no time.
Hiss. Kiss. Time. Fate.
Destiny...awake.
Ourglass...hmmmmmm?
Fall 2013
“Warm”
Wrapped up in tears
for you…
All exposed all
naked.
And I scream out, why
have you fallen away?
This lifetime of
searching complete, and all I can hear is your “no.”
And I know it is you.
I feel you still, all
over me, your hands sliding down my side, touching beneath.
And you go so
deep. So deep into me.
Colliding with
everything I am.
One.
One heart…on with our
beating, breathing, I sigh…
I pull you closer,
because I have never touched a man.
I have never felt
safe to feel a man.
You are all inside
me, and I don’t want to let go.
You are what I have
been searching for, every breath brought me closer.
Every battle, every
bloodshed, every tear…was for you.
God saved my emotion for
you, it belonged to you…only.
He never let me give
it to anyone else.
And this world will
separate and tear this beauty to pieces.
It will betray this
hunger for a sin, for a judgment.
Inside you are…and
outside you sit, holding on to nothing.
Holding on to empty,
broken.
Come back inside
where it is warm…even in the darkest of winters.
Safe. Home.
Wrap me up in your
tears. They are warm.
August 2014
So this was all I ever needed in my soul and mind to feel accepted
into God’s Kingdom. My way wandered all around the world. I have been trapped in many periods of history,
many different races, and cultures. All
to get to heaven. My spiritual solution,
to a mental problem. But you are never
going to believe what happens to me when we play Naked Twister. But wait we are
fully clothed, you in a Car Heart…orangish, tannish sweatshirt, knarly genes,
and splattered up workboots, and are at first hugging me in my kitchen. Then we sit on the couch, and I put my fallen
out thin blonde curly hair close to your thick black locks. Then your lips
touch mine and you ask me “YES, OR NO?” So I touch your right ribbed Evil Centaur,
with all five fingers of my left hand. This is determined to be a safe touch,
based on the quality of your liver in that quadrant, and how I know, is
medical school. Your lymph system is healthy, but I have sensed your frailness
lately, and know that if we went back to that time, I could touch my left ring
finger, to your Umbilicus Wizard and you would be restored to grandeur. So when
the electricity happens with the friction of “yes,” I was intercommunicated
spiritually into another realm. If ye shall believe me…it was that night. Two
days after I asked God, then all in two weeks later, now almost two years, and
my heart remembers your beat. I hear the thump, thump, thump, when I put my
head under water. In Utero, like blood of the ventricles connected in blue,
because you know that blood is blue, until it reaches the atmosphere. Blue like my
eyes. Crazy, but I can still feel the
flow of yours coursing through my cerebrum, and it lit it up like a Christmas
Tree, repeatedly. This is only a type of
energy conserved through ancestry. I
tell you this Adam, because on that Eve, I was a virgin. I was rising up, to
become a woman. No longer sick. And then
the oxygen, the gasp for air, like the slap on the back of a newborn, deep and
invigorating. And it took me there.May 2015
Lace all over. Over you, over me...its all over. A shattered see through glass of tears, lay on the bedside table. It's been there, waiting...waiting and wanting. Tangled up in a web of mind's lies, pretend the best, waits. The set up is paramount, and there are candles lit. And slow and steady we set the room on fire. For all this was set up paramount to burn it to the ground. There is no way it would be average. Or dull. For I have enough passion to electrify the solar system...yes I mean the stars. I have imagined it, so what? Something he said about going to the ceiling? That never happened? True heartbeats in time with the memoiries and all my diversabilty, has an intricate way of expression. For lack of a better term absofrickenlutely amazing...