Gifted tonight of my memories loved.
My first jet black haired,boy.
He lit up my little girl world, and they all loved him too.
The jock and much more built than the other boys.
He was kindred to me though, and we laughed so much,
We had to be separated in class.
We were both brilliant minds.
Side by side. Until fate and miles took us apart.
Jake Black was my American Dream.
Healthy and strong, with a jokers smile.
I often wonder who I would be had I grown up,
With my best friend from 6th grade?
I do know he would have offered me a certain amount of
Protection, in my naivity about boys in high school...in the least.
Maybe he would have been my prom date.
Maybe we would have saved each other a lot of pain?
Because I miss you Jake.
Your mom is my best friend now, and I wish my babies were her babies,
And she spoils them as such.
I cleaned your room tonight and she gave me a wreath made out of the flowers from your funeral.
Age 23? Why?
Why did you leave me?
I know, I know we talk all the time...but it's not the same.
How odd would I be to say I want to be married to a dead man?
Truly don't think any man on this earth would live up to Adam and that's all a life of its own which makes everything else just empty and blah.
It's just disappointing and I don't want anymore hurt from men and I don't think I want one at all.
I guess it takes stronger people than I to love with all their heart and give it more than one try?
It's ok Jake I know it's pretend and it keeps me safe to love you.
So there I love a dead man, and one that is dead to me.
What more could a crazy woman ask for? It's perfect.
Jake I am screaming for God to bring both my worlds together so I can see you. Maybe all Adam was was to teach me stuff and help me grow. Maybe he is just one soul mate, maybe we can have many.
The way I miss you tonight Jake, I will see you in my dreams.
I know God will send you to me, I am in confusion and you have always comforted me, especially during the divorce. I took your name for my writing business MirandadyeBlack,Ink. Someday when I am independently well off, from whatever and however it is God is going to use me, I am going to ask your mom if I can take your name, legally.
So there ya go I will change my entire name to Eve Rising-Black...because Eve Raposa doesn't sound that good anway. I know it is weird to love someone in memory more than reality...but if that is what I choose for this life time.,,which is so short...than so be it.