Rambling on the rafters. Singing like a nightingale and diving deep into the specific areas of tranquility versus chaos. She accepts that she is but an excerpt from a book, and wants him to know the same. Just an imagination, just a flight of fancy. It really goes beyond the concept of who we were to one another, and this world has created life on its own terms. I cannot change the past, I can only trust that this focus is for a purpose. That my life and choices and heart have led me to believe in my stories as a way out of poverty formy children and I, close friends and family. I like to think big and I think my story is humongous actually! Definitely out of the norm. It's for shizzle the nizzy fo show.
I have never been more excited to be alive. And to be totally out about being a psycho. I do not believe I am dangerous, or a threat. I believe I am a highly spiritual being, in tune with energies unexplainable, which I attempt to explain, if not only to myself the stories I've made. Fully understanding that people may not understand. I don't mind being called crazy anymore. I embrace it. Not the typical lifestyle or direction I always thought I would head in. It doesn't match up with the ultrasound agree or the business degree or any other accomplishment other than being a brainiac!
I am in a holding pattern and I know that is so that God can teach me patience. I know that right now is not the right time to publish my book. And I also really want to have the second one ready before I publish the first one because the second one is more important to me. And I feel if I got caught up in the polishing process of fairytale of a felony stalker, I would lose my momentum on Book 2. What I am super jazzed about, is that I should get my laptop back on Monday, which has been retained by authorities since December 2013. I had it decorated with "sweet 16" stickers LOL. I guess if you're not going through something trivial in life you may as well go all the way back to 15 and take back what was taken from You. And that is exactly what God did for me a complete restoration! And I don't even know how it happened other than a simple prayer I prayed and then making the 15 list and of course falling in love for the first time. I guess you can learn a lot from feeling that if you have never felt it before. Or what you would do for that person. To make them As happy as they make you. And in this case, Adam wants to be happy by me leaving him alone, and I do.
I haven't been writing much in the Book 2. I put enough of my ideas for it on this blog that if someone is interested in what I have to say, well then they would read the whole book. My psychologist and I talked about which version of the book I should release. And we both decided that I should release the parts where I was in the other realm and writing. This would be true and honest and I feel more intriguing than hiding a part of me still. I hid The psychosis story for too many years. I would not talk to anybody about the things I saw, or the world it created. I want people to know! And maybe it is selfish, I don't know if the word vengeance is too powerful for what I want at least the people who have left me in my life because of my illness or me complaining about having to understand the magnitude of what I go through when I am in altered states of consciousness.
So if this is something I have always hidden. I wonder how many other people are there out there, like me. I do not understand how a story line can begin in 1996 and much like a prophecy, it all came together in the year 2013. A Soul mate story that was created from my dreams since child. I believe there must be a reason for that and I will passionately pursue the direction in life, to find the meaning for this spiritual journey.
I have never been more excited to be alive. And to be totally out about being a psycho. I do not believe I am dangerous, or a threat. I believe I am a highly spiritual being, in tune with energies unexplainable, which I attempt to explain, if not only to myself the stories I've made. Fully understanding that people may not understand. I don't mind being called crazy anymore. I embrace it. Not the typical lifestyle or direction I always thought I would head in. It doesn't match up with the ultrasound agree or the business degree or any other accomplishment other than being a brainiac!
I am in a holding pattern and I know that is so that God can teach me patience. I know that right now is not the right time to publish my book. And I also really want to have the second one ready before I publish the first one because the second one is more important to me. And I feel if I got caught up in the polishing process of fairytale of a felony stalker, I would lose my momentum on Book 2. What I am super jazzed about, is that I should get my laptop back on Monday, which has been retained by authorities since December 2013. I had it decorated with "sweet 16" stickers LOL. I guess if you're not going through something trivial in life you may as well go all the way back to 15 and take back what was taken from You. And that is exactly what God did for me a complete restoration! And I don't even know how it happened other than a simple prayer I prayed and then making the 15 list and of course falling in love for the first time. I guess you can learn a lot from feeling that if you have never felt it before. Or what you would do for that person. To make them As happy as they make you. And in this case, Adam wants to be happy by me leaving him alone, and I do.
I haven't been writing much in the Book 2. I put enough of my ideas for it on this blog that if someone is interested in what I have to say, well then they would read the whole book. My psychologist and I talked about which version of the book I should release. And we both decided that I should release the parts where I was in the other realm and writing. This would be true and honest and I feel more intriguing than hiding a part of me still. I hid The psychosis story for too many years. I would not talk to anybody about the things I saw, or the world it created. I want people to know! And maybe it is selfish, I don't know if the word vengeance is too powerful for what I want at least the people who have left me in my life because of my illness or me complaining about having to understand the magnitude of what I go through when I am in altered states of consciousness.
So if this is something I have always hidden. I wonder how many other people are there out there, like me. I do not understand how a story line can begin in 1996 and much like a prophecy, it all came together in the year 2013. A Soul mate story that was created from my dreams since child. I believe there must be a reason for that and I will passionately pursue the direction in life, to find the meaning for this spiritual journey.