All shit is up in the air tonight. Its all full throttle baby...full speed ahead and not stopping. My kids are possibly moving away from Billings to live on a reservation. For the love of pete, its not what I want, but I cannot support them by myself here. It sounds dangerous and makes me cry for my babies and the life, I saw ahead of us way back when, before it went behind us.
What I really really want is to move ahead with publishing my book. So if any of my readers know an editor, that would be great. I have gone over and over it, and it needs a format other than how I have it which is the first 250 some pages are like a chronilogical daily entry journal, writing to Adam about my life and recovery, also including experiences with the people I was growing up with in the program. The ending is more written like a book about all the things I have learned from knowing him and being a sober me.I have two versions of my book. Full throttle psychotic, or the milder version before I changed it all this summer...when it all "made cents." When I went insane this summer I began have associations beyond my normal capacity, and I went through my entire book and added words and parts, that may interest some readers, but not appeal and be too much for others. The thing of it is is that I was at a higher level of consciousness while writing...that it becomes a mucher deeper story to include societal gender role confusion, genetic warfare, and oh yes I was all about me being a He She. Mustachio was my nickname, from a guy in junior high, lol!
Yes indeed I go off in my book and called us both genetic mutants! Not the only ones, but yes a sign of the end times. I thought it odd I had never felt chemistry before, and found it odd a man be afraid of me, for the first time in my life. Our complete opposite reactions to the opposite sex. So yes I had some theories on that which if I keep that part in the book I must go with all the full throttle psychosis incerpts into my journal part of the book!
I dont know but something good has to happen soon...I believe it will. In the program they say dont give up five minutes before the miracle. And so...5....4....3....2....1.
Oh wait...its all been a miracle. I aint just got paycheck
...yet!
So full throttle love, passion, excitement, obsession, butterflies, drama, cops, jail, spirituality, courtooms, and conspiracy theories...you can find Stalker Barbie and Ken in this exciting new release "Fairytale of a Felony Stalker." ...LMAO so excited!