Okay so I am dating someone, doesn't quite fit this story, but oh well...its a twist at least haha! He is a young one...very sweet and affectionate and my "type" now I suppose. He has about a year of hardcore sobriety due to legal issues. I told him the other day about my Marilyn Monroe hour, saved by a sandwich and not wanting to shave my legs...he was shocked...he's never thought like that. Well in more or less words I said "You've never had a tear in your beer then."
I never had at 27, either. By the time I reached that age I had worked my way through ultrasound school, and wrecked it I guess. I had moved to Washington at 21 and worked odd jobs, until I randomly applied at a hospital and was offered a radiology assistant position. After two years on the job and one year of difficult prerequsites I was accepted into a competive ultrasound program in Seattle. There was such a need for techs at that time that I was paid living expenses by a company to the sum of $24,000. I juggled partying and school, but once I was being paid, it didnt fly to well. I mean it paid well, but I didnt fly to well. I messed up two jobs and blamed it on not being good enough...tear in my beer.
So I quit. I think worked at the Gap? Met my ex had a baby, In short order.
I miss that career, but truth be told after all that knowledge I gained, I dont think it was my destiny. People ask all the time well why dont you just do that? Frankly its been too long and I relied on knowing book knowledge like a wizard, but my technical skills would take a few years of frustration to catch up. I guess my classmates took a few years to acclamade too, but I was a giver upper with a drinking problem. And foremost now, I could not do this job because of my health. I have crossed over in hospitals plenty of times...it is way scary.
So then I built up a career in the non profit sector and divorce followed by drinking, trainwrecked that. I am not giving away my whole life story, because it is in my book, so after that lil saga I am going back to the tear in the beer theory. So yesterday I did something I promised my ten year old self I would never have to do because for sure I was so smart, I would be a doctor. I watched my mom clean rich peoples houses, while I swam in their pools, I said definently gonna be the one with pool, right God? Yesterday, I was a maid...a toilet scrubbin maid for rich folk. Their toilet was pretty clean though already, so there were no tears as I remembered back to how hard I have tried to get somewhere in this life. Regrets and resentment of self, can kill you and so I didnt even think, as I was cleaning that somehow I had lost my 'never will I" bet to my little girl self. Twenty six years of "I wont" to "I will," and I guess I am doing it again today. Fudge, now little girl is crying.
So its dream after dream lost I guess. Its maybe I make too many dreams up! Its happilly ever after means Adam loves me, and saves me from cleaning toilets, and our book pays for me to be a PhD. Its I actually stay sane enough to complete my little girl dreams of being a doctor, and not worrying about money all the time, or how to feed my own kids. I grew up going without...and I never wanted that for my kids.
Is this too much to ask? You see that is alcoholism!!! Either I am:
A. Dead or in the slammer
B. All my wildest dreams come true
C. My point? There is no C!
Go big or go home...I said that the whole time I was writing my story. I am just a go big or go home kind of girl I guess. I mean woman, aged and mature enough to clean a clean toilet, a sparkly one lol. OMG, what if the one today is not sparkly? Oh and they had custom "genuine leather" furniture...can you imagine? I was totally making fun of "genuine leather" ooh lala..in one of my funny accents...like I was making a commercial all dramatic about my first time being a maid! Ooh la la is that custom? I think just as much as wealthy people talk about poor people, poor people make fun of wealthy people and the things they think it takes to survive in this world...watch out, someday Ima have me some "custom genuine leather furniture..."
...and some damn granite tile..ooh la la! Up in the Country Club looking fresh...looking like "new money" hillbillies, heck yah! I got a Golden Ticket! The most messed up out of this world fairytale, and I am not even a vampire! Psychological thrilla, betta than Michael Jackson, and his sister who is into "Bad Boys" like me! Step right up folks for the wackiest, believe it or not, spanning history...head juju straight from the heart land for your viewing pleasure...its unlike anything you have heard before, believe me Ive made sure of this... Unlike any movie you've seen, because we are not the undead! Coming at you live and in living color the most spectacular gypsy convicts of all time...Welcome to the Adam and Eve Show!!!
This series brought to you by MirandadyeBLACKInk. Content guaranteed, though highly not recommended to try on your own. Out of reality experiences are dangerous and may cause embaressment and otherwise unintended outcomes such as: gas, bloating, fatigue, ringing in ears, incontenence, erectile dysfunction, binging, purging, gluten free diets, weight gain, high speed crashes, blurred and triple vision, hallucinations of granduer, superioroty complex, hyper sex drive, while of course experiencing diarhea, possible death, and cancer and jail time.
But please do enjoy all the benefits! lol...haha I am very silly this morning!
I never had at 27, either. By the time I reached that age I had worked my way through ultrasound school, and wrecked it I guess. I had moved to Washington at 21 and worked odd jobs, until I randomly applied at a hospital and was offered a radiology assistant position. After two years on the job and one year of difficult prerequsites I was accepted into a competive ultrasound program in Seattle. There was such a need for techs at that time that I was paid living expenses by a company to the sum of $24,000. I juggled partying and school, but once I was being paid, it didnt fly to well. I mean it paid well, but I didnt fly to well. I messed up two jobs and blamed it on not being good enough...tear in my beer.
So I quit. I think worked at the Gap? Met my ex had a baby, In short order.
I miss that career, but truth be told after all that knowledge I gained, I dont think it was my destiny. People ask all the time well why dont you just do that? Frankly its been too long and I relied on knowing book knowledge like a wizard, but my technical skills would take a few years of frustration to catch up. I guess my classmates took a few years to acclamade too, but I was a giver upper with a drinking problem. And foremost now, I could not do this job because of my health. I have crossed over in hospitals plenty of times...it is way scary.
So then I built up a career in the non profit sector and divorce followed by drinking, trainwrecked that. I am not giving away my whole life story, because it is in my book, so after that lil saga I am going back to the tear in the beer theory. So yesterday I did something I promised my ten year old self I would never have to do because for sure I was so smart, I would be a doctor. I watched my mom clean rich peoples houses, while I swam in their pools, I said definently gonna be the one with pool, right God? Yesterday, I was a maid...a toilet scrubbin maid for rich folk. Their toilet was pretty clean though already, so there were no tears as I remembered back to how hard I have tried to get somewhere in this life. Regrets and resentment of self, can kill you and so I didnt even think, as I was cleaning that somehow I had lost my 'never will I" bet to my little girl self. Twenty six years of "I wont" to "I will," and I guess I am doing it again today. Fudge, now little girl is crying.
So its dream after dream lost I guess. Its maybe I make too many dreams up! Its happilly ever after means Adam loves me, and saves me from cleaning toilets, and our book pays for me to be a PhD. Its I actually stay sane enough to complete my little girl dreams of being a doctor, and not worrying about money all the time, or how to feed my own kids. I grew up going without...and I never wanted that for my kids.
Is this too much to ask? You see that is alcoholism!!! Either I am:
A. Dead or in the slammer
B. All my wildest dreams come true
C. My point? There is no C!
Go big or go home...I said that the whole time I was writing my story. I am just a go big or go home kind of girl I guess. I mean woman, aged and mature enough to clean a clean toilet, a sparkly one lol. OMG, what if the one today is not sparkly? Oh and they had custom "genuine leather" furniture...can you imagine? I was totally making fun of "genuine leather" ooh lala..in one of my funny accents...like I was making a commercial all dramatic about my first time being a maid! Ooh la la is that custom? I think just as much as wealthy people talk about poor people, poor people make fun of wealthy people and the things they think it takes to survive in this world...watch out, someday Ima have me some "custom genuine leather furniture..."
...and some damn granite tile..ooh la la! Up in the Country Club looking fresh...looking like "new money" hillbillies, heck yah! I got a Golden Ticket! The most messed up out of this world fairytale, and I am not even a vampire! Psychological thrilla, betta than Michael Jackson, and his sister who is into "Bad Boys" like me! Step right up folks for the wackiest, believe it or not, spanning history...head juju straight from the heart land for your viewing pleasure...its unlike anything you have heard before, believe me Ive made sure of this... Unlike any movie you've seen, because we are not the undead! Coming at you live and in living color the most spectacular gypsy convicts of all time...Welcome to the Adam and Eve Show!!!
This series brought to you by MirandadyeBLACKInk. Content guaranteed, though highly not recommended to try on your own. Out of reality experiences are dangerous and may cause embaressment and otherwise unintended outcomes such as: gas, bloating, fatigue, ringing in ears, incontenence, erectile dysfunction, binging, purging, gluten free diets, weight gain, high speed crashes, blurred and triple vision, hallucinations of granduer, superioroty complex, hyper sex drive, while of course experiencing diarhea, possible death, and cancer and jail time.
But please do enjoy all the benefits! lol...haha I am very silly this morning!