Ramen, Cats, and Barfing and Eating in Your Tub Because You Miss a Guy

Ok so first, Ramen is weirdly delicious, after you have been to jail.  There is just something about it when you are starving from gross food that won't fill you up, and you are locked up in between meals dreaming of a steak or sushi or mom's porcupine meatballs with mashed potatoes, just something.  So guess who is eating Ramen and loving it tonight...I had never even thought to eat such cheap food, haha. Just telling you it is kinda good!


So hot song on the radio is about a girl that has to get "high all the time to get you off my mind."  I have better ideas sister. So she likes to eat in her tub,  allowable but not handling things well.  And then she goes to sex clubs to watch freaky people getting it on, that's a little dramatic, just rent some porn?  Unless she wants to meet creepers at the sex club. Probably.  I am not familiar, nor a fan of the idea of a sex club.  I went to a strip club with my ex in Denver, and I was freaking out and not having a good time. Yeah prude, but there needs to be limits on these things in my opinion.  Call me a Christian, then.  So then this chick heads home having drank all her money, she then vomits in her tub where she eats? For the love of misery bat girl?  Just write your dude a letter about why you are so into him, and if it becomes a book, well that's okay too, but hunny, this is really the saddest way to get over a guy. And your song is so famous and overplayed  I now need to have some heroin and puke in my tub just to get over your song!  And just to see if it would make me stop loving?And this addiction to getting high to forget, its not working, you could turn into a puking stalker, trust me that's just gross!  Your dude probably is not impressed, if you would knock on his door smelling like sex clubs and vomit!  Just saying princess, and little preteens probably bob their heads to this shit.  Super.  So Famous in America, for promoting sick behavior beyond Lady Gaga somehow...buy some Clorox and bleach your tub and get a gym membership.  Try fruits and vegetables and vitamins, and if you don't want to write him a book, then write to little girls in America who think you are so "deep." If you loved him, you would live to the best of your ability, trust me, I didn't get high all the time.


Cat Lady.  My brother's cat is having kittens soon!  I have never seen kittens being born and I am so excited.  I started out a cat lover with my mom in the projects of Seattle in the late 70's, shout out to Whitecenter!  We always had cats.  And then we moved here and when she married my step dad he didn't think it was appropriate for me to have pets, or something, just like he was with everything about me...so I was at Kindergarten and my mom came in bloody from running over what would be my last pet for 16 years, Mimi a black and white.  I got Zander in 2001 when I lived in Spokane.  The other kittens were cuter and more playful...but Zander stared at me...he was intent and got my attention!  I had Zander with me for 13 years.  My main man...and he really was!  We moved all over WA, WY, MT.  I think of him now like my protector, because yes I wasn't too into keeping guys around.  Just wanted to work on school and careers, and I had my orange tabby and that's what mattered.  Wouldn't you know he disappeared right after Adam came into my life?  He was healthy the vet said, and I never got to bury him.  Such a deep loss to me.  Then there was Mimi 2 and Lucky. And I got them when I was in my heaven psychosis and made videos with them.  Okay so I did at first name Lucky after the "real man." It kinda made my dramatics in heavenly high town pretty funny to me.  You know you are cool when you can have a blast staying home with your kittens all the time.  And I was going to have them make one set of babies, just so I could see that and experience something I have always wanted to.  But, one time when I was in jail my sponsor gave away Mimi to a girl that was lonely???  I was like huh?  It made me mad but I just let it go.  I guess she didn't know how long I was gonna be in there.  And then this summer when I was in the psychward Lucky who is a beautiful long black haired manx disappeared.  And the guy that was watching him and my house seemingly couldn't have cared less that he was lost or gone.  C'mon people you are breaking my cat lady heart!!! And now we are having kittens.  Cat Von Dee a black and white with long hair...I think they will be cute!  YAYA, babies!
So this white girl be all about eating five packages of ramen in my tub while crying about sex, not the clubs, just sex.  And then I am gonna get so messed up, maybe inject dishsoap, because I do not know how to score heroin...and then I will cry some more over my real man problems and my Adam problems and then vomit the ramen into my tub, maybe I can accomplish ramen out my nose, and overscore on heroine's lost love saga...thats my plan for tonight...and maybe some kittens be born and I will cry about that too.  The best thing about sobriety, is I know my tear ducts work.  Its all that passion baby, yeah!!! And yes british accent ala Austin Powers!
I know women are already out their spoofing this song...I will work on it.  Havent done a youtube video for a year...The Ramen Vomitting Stalker, lol. You dont even want to know how dramatic an actress I am!


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