Nothing spells socially challenged like only trusting the internet to share your whole story...OK so I am giving socially challenged sober stalker his coffee date. Only because my friend Jen said she has always had a crush on him and he is not creepy. OK so not creepy just socially awkward like the sober me. Its doable only he does consistently bother me and calls me Hun, yuck I hate that!. And even worse tonight he called me gorgeous and I really have no experience handling hearing that word. It sent me into a panic attack because I was like this dude is gonna want to put his hands all over me. Luckily with my new found con man scents, I will be able to know his character and what he is after in just one conversation. If he touches me at coffee I will jerk back, and make it apparent that this is not going to be easy.
I drank to not feel touch. Yeah I do got serious issues! And then I let myself feel it and I become a stalker, yeah that's absolutely precious isn't? And now my issues are even worse. I noticed I had completly transformed when a newbie at AA that I had never met put his hand on my back and I wanted to smack him.
I did not say a word though. We eventually become friends and I told how much him putting his hands on me when I didnt know him had offended me.This is a sober issue, because I
I used to be the one to freely hug anybody and everybody. Believe me to figure that out for the first time was really weird! Whoa, I don't like to be touched by men, very freaking odd of me all a sudden!
This guy from AA that is said to be a recovered child molester came to visit me in the hospital. I was like of all the people? Yeah I really dont want to talk to you right now. And then when we were done he wanted a hug. I did not want to do that in that moment, but I did it.
So only in sobriety did I figure out that touch and affection can be healing. But now I have gotten so fearful of allowing anyone to possibly treat me wrong ever again that I am unable
to let anyone try to get close. And this is so weird for me...but quite possibly the most healthy I have ever been about my personal boundaries.
So unrelenting coffee date boy who calls me gorgeous for some reason I really want to terrify you. Maybe you will get the point that I have been hinting at!
Yeah everybody has there monster to face and I am doing it for the first time and I know someday I will be healthy and be able to let someone touch me. For right now I am simply a mess about it. Just part of the process I presume.
And I boldy share my story because I want to let other women what you can recover from. No it is not easy, but to be to break free from the cycle of abuse that so damages us is a miracle and so worth it! To get to love myself for the first time is such a gift! And just that I could do it...and to know that it is possible for you too!
I drank to not feel touch. Yeah I do got serious issues! And then I let myself feel it and I become a stalker, yeah that's absolutely precious isn't? And now my issues are even worse. I noticed I had completly transformed when a newbie at AA that I had never met put his hand on my back and I wanted to smack him.
I did not say a word though. We eventually become friends and I told how much him putting his hands on me when I didnt know him had offended me.This is a sober issue, because I
I used to be the one to freely hug anybody and everybody. Believe me to figure that out for the first time was really weird! Whoa, I don't like to be touched by men, very freaking odd of me all a sudden!
This guy from AA that is said to be a recovered child molester came to visit me in the hospital. I was like of all the people? Yeah I really dont want to talk to you right now. And then when we were done he wanted a hug. I did not want to do that in that moment, but I did it.
So only in sobriety did I figure out that touch and affection can be healing. But now I have gotten so fearful of allowing anyone to possibly treat me wrong ever again that I am unable
to let anyone try to get close. And this is so weird for me...but quite possibly the most healthy I have ever been about my personal boundaries.
So unrelenting coffee date boy who calls me gorgeous for some reason I really want to terrify you. Maybe you will get the point that I have been hinting at!
Yeah everybody has there monster to face and I am doing it for the first time and I know someday I will be healthy and be able to let someone touch me. For right now I am simply a mess about it. Just part of the process I presume.
And I boldy share my story because I want to let other women what you can recover from. No it is not easy, but to be to break free from the cycle of abuse that so damages us is a miracle and so worth it! To get to love myself for the first time is such a gift! And just that I could do it...and to know that it is possible for you too!
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