So I finally looked up the side effects of my new medication LA Tuda. I about vomited. And yes I have had a headache and nausea for two weeks anyway. There is about 15 different ways this shit could kill me or permanently damage me for life. I noticed yesterday I was pushing out my lower lip and biting my lower lip to pull it back in. Now biting your lower lip when you are thinking or something can be sexy...but not continuously because you feel like Bubba Gump. I also could end up with no facial expressions or worse cerebral accident and stroke. Heart damage, blurred vision and the list goes on.
So I have been physically Ill since coming out of the psychosis. I thought it was depression, but as you can see from my posts my mind is quite ready to be well and take on the world, but I am so tired and sick it is frustrating.
So what I don't know is if this medication is the only reason I am not in psychosis. I hate having no energy and feel guilty when I dont accomplish things or be Cheer Bear to my kids. It is scary because yes thank God I am not in hell...but is this the way I am going to live now? Not being able to do anything because you are physically experiencing the flu from a med with a well mind, is almost more torturous than insanity. And just not knowing if it is just temporary or how long you should endure like this...because some just call it an adjustment. I am definitely slowed to a standstill and I guess why I have been posting so much it is something I can do from bed and it doesn't make my headache worse.
I try not to get angry I do...but I feel like a money maker for all those side effects. Its like a $2000 med and i pay $1.48 For it ...government freakia on my brain and body??? And no I dont even know what to do about it? I feel stuck and sad.
Later in the day, so I feel like death and I was outside and think i saw Adam drive by and flip me off. I know I have had quite the fantasy, but I do not understand his hate and vindictiveness. I texted him seven times when i was in heaven. The paperwork says knowingly and purposely caused another harm...well not me. I didnt mean to harm him.
I am scared my brain is hemorrhaging from the La tuda my head hurts...I want it to be considered a homicide. I want my story told and i want people to start fighting the pharmaceutical companies. If you would like to know what ended up happening with the LA Tuda please read, Killing Me Softly, thanks!
So I have been physically Ill since coming out of the psychosis. I thought it was depression, but as you can see from my posts my mind is quite ready to be well and take on the world, but I am so tired and sick it is frustrating.
So what I don't know is if this medication is the only reason I am not in psychosis. I hate having no energy and feel guilty when I dont accomplish things or be Cheer Bear to my kids. It is scary because yes thank God I am not in hell...but is this the way I am going to live now? Not being able to do anything because you are physically experiencing the flu from a med with a well mind, is almost more torturous than insanity. And just not knowing if it is just temporary or how long you should endure like this...because some just call it an adjustment. I am definitely slowed to a standstill and I guess why I have been posting so much it is something I can do from bed and it doesn't make my headache worse.
I try not to get angry I do...but I feel like a money maker for all those side effects. Its like a $2000 med and i pay $1.48 For it ...government freakia on my brain and body??? And no I dont even know what to do about it? I feel stuck and sad.
Later in the day, so I feel like death and I was outside and think i saw Adam drive by and flip me off. I know I have had quite the fantasy, but I do not understand his hate and vindictiveness. I texted him seven times when i was in heaven. The paperwork says knowingly and purposely caused another harm...well not me. I didnt mean to harm him.
I am scared my brain is hemorrhaging from the La tuda my head hurts...I want it to be considered a homicide. I want my story told and i want people to start fighting the pharmaceutical companies. If you would like to know what ended up happening with the LA Tuda please read, Killing Me Softly, thanks!