Creepers

If you think I am sexy and want to marry me and make me have your babies because we hung out a year ago for two days...I finally told him I was gonna call the cops.  He's been off and on nice texts, then begging, then being mean calling me names.  Here here I am not the only psycho. At least i I gave him a year before I proceeded with the threat, bless his loving heart.  So he gave me a rock and he wants it back. Mature.

Then another text, the same day no less from a man that stalked me and instead of accepting I was in recovery and not dating keeps texting me and asked me to clean his house for $100. I was appalled!  Hell no you want me scrub your toilet?  That's aiming high!So I am totally freaking and he has 8 months sober now and he wants a coffee date.  I just told him it is not going so good and that I was a felony stalker...and he was like "nice.  How are the boys?".  Why me God?  Why me?

NO..i just want to hiss and spit at them like the exorcist if they are still wanting  a piece!  Sick sick sick and they wont stop?  It will take a man of steel and valor and extreme patience to put up with me and these psychos with no substance should not be coming at me.  Frankly I have grown accustom to the idea that i am just going to be married to Jesus...because i do need a saint or something like that? I am ALOT, be afraid please! I am just so sick of telling guys, oh no you really shouldnt want to be with me...i am not daring you. I am so working on myself if God blesses me with a man its not going to be today. And both these dudes take my rejection so personally.  I seriously think the one is sober because of me...omg this is grown up stuff and no I dont even want to go to coffee!  This is so funny because he left a note on my car in my driveway before i even met him...Oh Adam!  I left a note on Adams truck! Oh this is a straight up nightmare!
I dont want anyone to want me when i am not healthy...well at least right now. Ya know when the right one says for better or worse he is going to know there is a chance i am not always gonna be in the game...but hell i do not know how to handle anything with a guy right now.
I still haven't responded to coffee..dudes been pursuing me for over a year and tell him about whats going on and he still likey? NO! NO! NO!  I will always be washing my hair! I don't know what to do world,  I don't know what to do!  Coffee should not be a big  deal but i feel with the way this guy sees me its too much to even share a latte.  Paybacks are a bitch!!!
And per se' how in the hell am i ever gonna be able to casually date or shop around and gently let a man into my world?  Like oh, by the way? I am just never gonna do that...so hes going to have to come from God in a big red bow, lol.  Where there is a will there is a way, a way.  I seriously now analyze men for affection level types...i get alot of not it vibes.  See I found out that I am not opposed to affection and like it only to a certain level.  I have seen guys who are just way too much and it freaks me out. I would be like stop touching me so much...you are too much and quit complementing me incessantly! Its annoying!  So me bears found some porridge and baby bear found "just right"...and she became a stalker!

And now after telling sober stalker i had alot going on and would pray about whether I was available for coffee...he texts me two hours later wanting to know what I do for work Hun?  Its so simple? My job right now is to be insane and write a blog about being insane...and somehow someday make an impact on this planet is my agenda...can i get a cookie with my coffee?  Oh dear Lord bless this union...Jimminy
crickets!