Okay so I cried out to God quite a bit yesterday, two weeks with a headache when you never get them is scary. I feel better this morning, stronger and that's good because I am suppose to go to court today. Yesterday I called the coordinator and basically told her I felt like I was going to die, and that I needed a Pet scan because I felt like my brain was hemorrhaging, and I could barely stand up, and she is like well you still have to come to court! The thing is this court was made for the mentally ill, and not one person on the team has any understanding of what happens. She doesn't understand why I don't feel well, and I tried to explain to think of my brain tripping on acid for three weeks, and what the let down would do to your body and brain. I present so well to the world, I just don't think anyone can fathom what I go through. They don't get it, and well yes it is out of the ordinary, and people live in little cardboard boxes who are like me...
It's just the way I dress and talk, and carry myself, and I have been hidden all my life. Maybe by booze and the party girl scene and the just be normal pills. And plus on my hell trips it was about every four to five years, and me perfectly accomplished and driven to succeed between visits. I love learning and books...especially anatomy and physiology. My degree in diagnostic ultrasound is not a waste, because I understand the entire body system, and as a healer in the spirit this comes in handy. I looked at this guy I know once and was able to tell him his liver was in failure, just by looking at his face, it was yellow and poofy...and well he was a junkie and he was gonna die if he didn't get help. The last time I saw Adam, in April he looked sick. He was too skinny, and his colour was ashen. This can signify cansir, or heart problems. In the spirit it is an angry or bitter heart, hurt by the world. Cansir is breed by fear, and pollution of course, and is a money making plan of the enemy. Where I went it didn't exist, and I saw no sickness of any kind. I don't know what God is asking of me to show me all this, but I do know that all my random schooling, training and careers make sense now. Medical, social services, business and government. I also know about the criminal system now, and legal sectors. It all looped together in my mind and when I saw my life and the heaven scenes, mixed with what I had always seen in hell, I knew that I had been given a gift. I cried out to God after my seizure with Samuel...asked him why he did that to me and his immediate answer I heard audibly was "Consider it a Gift." Its a scary gift. But it makes my life make sense.
It's just the way I dress and talk, and carry myself, and I have been hidden all my life. Maybe by booze and the party girl scene and the just be normal pills. And plus on my hell trips it was about every four to five years, and me perfectly accomplished and driven to succeed between visits. I love learning and books...especially anatomy and physiology. My degree in diagnostic ultrasound is not a waste, because I understand the entire body system, and as a healer in the spirit this comes in handy. I looked at this guy I know once and was able to tell him his liver was in failure, just by looking at his face, it was yellow and poofy...and well he was a junkie and he was gonna die if he didn't get help. The last time I saw Adam, in April he looked sick. He was too skinny, and his colour was ashen. This can signify cansir, or heart problems. In the spirit it is an angry or bitter heart, hurt by the world. Cansir is breed by fear, and pollution of course, and is a money making plan of the enemy. Where I went it didn't exist, and I saw no sickness of any kind. I don't know what God is asking of me to show me all this, but I do know that all my random schooling, training and careers make sense now. Medical, social services, business and government. I also know about the criminal system now, and legal sectors. It all looped together in my mind and when I saw my life and the heaven scenes, mixed with what I had always seen in hell, I knew that I had been given a gift. I cried out to God after my seizure with Samuel...asked him why he did that to me and his immediate answer I heard audibly was "Consider it a Gift." Its a scary gift. But it makes my life make sense.
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