The struggle is the beautiful part really. Its really ironic to me that I get "free" money from the government and people think that is easy. It's not a whole lot. Well so I cannot work an eight to five, and I have two part time jobs, and last week I celebrated by going to a steak dinner and going to the chiropractor for the first time in a year. But seriously I deserve better than disability. Yes, when I was in the hospital seven times in two years while in treatment court, it saved my ass, and thank you America...but yeah I didn't want to ask anyone for money so I thought I've had some books for awhile. And it made me laugh...because I just think of all the people that are gonna pop back up in my life when I triumph. So funny how people are!!! "Oh we knew you could do it!" "So proud of you!" "Rooting for you the whole time!" Oh really??? YAY, success! I know because I have been highly successful many times in my life! But this time I really got kicked when I was down...over and over and over like I was a worthless pieces of garbage. BUT I know that God does not make garbage!!! So here I am writing a business plan...the missing link in our community. I know it is because I lived it for five years.
Anywho. No one cares to read my book or buy it when I am in crunch. Ok one person answered my FB post. I don't really care because I don't think that's "my book." Its just a prequel! Just how I became a stalker, and my first year in sobriety. I think that "my book" is found in the content on this blog...and its such a jumbled mess that I need to make sense of, and write the "post-op" report!!!
My therapist and I role played today for what I would say has happened to me through all this if I were to have a forensic exam necessary for the courtroom. He said I did a very good job summarizing my "post-op" synopsis. Three years I've been with him, and we talked about moving on because he isn't spiritual at all. I decided to think like a business person, because he keeps me in "reality" and if I switched now there would be too much to explain to another therapist. If I go on exploring my psychosis, I might just vear from reality and get psychotic again thinking about all that's happened in my head. He still says chemical...and I still say bullshit!
Bullshit. Worked on the Business Plan (its good!) most of the morning and then went to the meeting and therapy. I really really need a nap and a sandwich...
Anywho. No one cares to read my book or buy it when I am in crunch. Ok one person answered my FB post. I don't really care because I don't think that's "my book." Its just a prequel! Just how I became a stalker, and my first year in sobriety. I think that "my book" is found in the content on this blog...and its such a jumbled mess that I need to make sense of, and write the "post-op" report!!!
My therapist and I role played today for what I would say has happened to me through all this if I were to have a forensic exam necessary for the courtroom. He said I did a very good job summarizing my "post-op" synopsis. Three years I've been with him, and we talked about moving on because he isn't spiritual at all. I decided to think like a business person, because he keeps me in "reality" and if I switched now there would be too much to explain to another therapist. If I go on exploring my psychosis, I might just vear from reality and get psychotic again thinking about all that's happened in my head. He still says chemical...and I still say bullshit!
Bullshit. Worked on the Business Plan (its good!) most of the morning and then went to the meeting and therapy. I really really need a nap and a sandwich...
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