Everybody wants to take her heart away. A couple million in the whole wide world, but she belongs to me...since sixteen...awwww isnt that super special? Ok so that song makes me cry...like a bloody teenager alright? Somewhat I am like a teenager with all this, at least from a reality standpoint, I missed a check point somewhere along the way. Damn, oh well this is better! My fake ass love life right? And I guess it is what I want...I dont know if that is sad, or just what I friggin want. And I aint sad or nothing, and if it makes you happy it cant be that bad? Thanks Sheryl Crow.
I gave a young man away tonight...tehe. And thats just my head because I didnt own him. We had been hanging out for some maybe a month or two, and going to meetings together. I used to babysit him when he was six, lol. Slight age gap (I am a cougar now!!!) but we made each other laugh and he is sober and yada yada someone to hang out with and pass the time. And maybe just by spending time together we started to get ever so slightly close...and of course slightly letting myself get close to someone...like I let him put his hand on my leg, made me cry. Okay no I wasnt bawling at him, it was like a trinity...3 tears. But fudge its weird! Ive been all up and weird about getting close to anybody for almost two years, and frankly always. So yes, I was emotional about slightly cuddling. Shit is weird, I tell you. I kinda need some booze to knock it off...jk.
Well tonight was one of my best girl friends one year birthday. And they remembered each other from a year ago. I could tell they were excited about each other. Meh...I am like all about hooking them up now. I took him straight home...thats the mature thing to do right? They are closer in age...and I shouldnt hold him back because frankly he was just safe to me, meaning someone I wouldnt fall for although I do like him...as a friend. I hope they have fun...meh!
See I just dont give a fudge! Me? Territorial? Who me? I done stake a claim and fudging mean it, when I do! You wont have to guess what I want when I want it...it shall be the truth and the truth may or may not set you free, lol. I got dibs! I got five on it! Ive never picked before cut me some slack!
I dont even know if I ever want to be with anyone else anyway. Sometimes I think I am just way too much and I should just write books about what I think love is and never actually try to get along with a man...a spinster, isnt that what that is called? I am just so jaded, and cant even imagine a man strong enough for me. Like they will all wig out and sissy up. And the one that didnt over this past summer, feels like a dad to me, so thats not right? I look at the buff dudes at the gym, and think hella superficial wimps...there are other women built for them, and it is not me. I look at all of the types there, but I really dont look, if you know what I mean...ive just given up...just dont care...dont want to talk...dont want to appear available. So I am just gonna be the girl that everybody wants to steal from someone who doesnt want her...maybe just in a book. I am weird...but I am not the first to toil and anguish in creativity, serving a purpose I am sure. A Muse. Me.
Its not my time to wonder why...
And its just a book...I have put so much energy into it. I pray pray pray that we make at least a bazillion dollars cash money...then strike oil on the land where a brick house is built...where the Big Bad Wolf wont blow us away. Off to Dreamland...since my heaven psychosis in summer 2013, Ive only had a handful of nightmares...so fricken kickass, thank you God. What a neato story!
I gave a young man away tonight...tehe. And thats just my head because I didnt own him. We had been hanging out for some maybe a month or two, and going to meetings together. I used to babysit him when he was six, lol. Slight age gap (I am a cougar now!!!) but we made each other laugh and he is sober and yada yada someone to hang out with and pass the time. And maybe just by spending time together we started to get ever so slightly close...and of course slightly letting myself get close to someone...like I let him put his hand on my leg, made me cry. Okay no I wasnt bawling at him, it was like a trinity...3 tears. But fudge its weird! Ive been all up and weird about getting close to anybody for almost two years, and frankly always. So yes, I was emotional about slightly cuddling. Shit is weird, I tell you. I kinda need some booze to knock it off...jk.
Well tonight was one of my best girl friends one year birthday. And they remembered each other from a year ago. I could tell they were excited about each other. Meh...I am like all about hooking them up now. I took him straight home...thats the mature thing to do right? They are closer in age...and I shouldnt hold him back because frankly he was just safe to me, meaning someone I wouldnt fall for although I do like him...as a friend. I hope they have fun...meh!
See I just dont give a fudge! Me? Territorial? Who me? I done stake a claim and fudging mean it, when I do! You wont have to guess what I want when I want it...it shall be the truth and the truth may or may not set you free, lol. I got dibs! I got five on it! Ive never picked before cut me some slack!
I dont even know if I ever want to be with anyone else anyway. Sometimes I think I am just way too much and I should just write books about what I think love is and never actually try to get along with a man...a spinster, isnt that what that is called? I am just so jaded, and cant even imagine a man strong enough for me. Like they will all wig out and sissy up. And the one that didnt over this past summer, feels like a dad to me, so thats not right? I look at the buff dudes at the gym, and think hella superficial wimps...there are other women built for them, and it is not me. I look at all of the types there, but I really dont look, if you know what I mean...ive just given up...just dont care...dont want to talk...dont want to appear available. So I am just gonna be the girl that everybody wants to steal from someone who doesnt want her...maybe just in a book. I am weird...but I am not the first to toil and anguish in creativity, serving a purpose I am sure. A Muse. Me.
Its not my time to wonder why...
And its just a book...I have put so much energy into it. I pray pray pray that we make at least a bazillion dollars cash money...then strike oil on the land where a brick house is built...where the Big Bad Wolf wont blow us away. Off to Dreamland...since my heaven psychosis in summer 2013, Ive only had a handful of nightmares...so fricken kickass, thank you God. What a neato story!